A MARRIAGE EXAMPLE
Please note that you may make changes wherever you like – add, subtract, cut and paste. Some people have very simple, short ceremonies, while other have quite long and complex ones. It is your prerogative to decide what content and style you would like for your ceremony – so make sure you have the ceremony that will be pleasantly memorable!
AS THE BRIDE/PARTNER ARRIVES
When I know that the Bride/Partner is about to arrive, I ensure that the Groom/Partner and Attendants are in position. I will have checked that the rings are appropriately placed, and that those who are doing any readings are prepared.
Where relevant, I also check with the musicians or the person playing the CD.
I advise those in the Bridal party where to stand.
WELCOME
[Would you like me to say anything about ‘Social Media’? For example, about guests not posting until you two have had a chance to post your own photos, etc.]
I actually just stand and talk, and only read whatever particular pieces you have personally written. Because I know the basic ceremony by heart, I don’t read the obvious, and try to give the impression that I find pleasure in conducting ceremonies. The points I tend to make are as follows:
I ask your guests to move closer so that they may hear and see all that they wish. I introduce myself and welcome your guests to the celebrations that mark the beginning of your married life together, and tell them that in this Civil Marriage Ceremony you have personally prepared the content yourselves, and that you hope to enjoy it, and trust that they do as well.
POEM, READING, SONG, ETC.
I suggest that if you are interested in have a reading in any part of your Ceremony, that you select the piece, and ask a friend to read. That makes it more personal for both of you. I will of course read if you would like that.
CELEBRANT AUTHORITY (or ‘MONITUM’)
All authorised celebrants shall say to the couple getting married, in the presence of the witnesses whom I would acknowledge at this stage of the Ceremony:
My name is Dr John Holmes and I am duly authorised by law to solemnise marriages according to law. Before you are joined in marriage in my presence and in the presence of these witnesses, I am to remind you of the solemn and binding nature of the relationship you are about to enter. Marriage, according to law in Australia, is the union of a two people to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life.
THE ASKING
FOR EACH OF YOU
(full names) … will you take … (full names) to be your wife/husband/spouse?
With any additional comments you might like, for example:
Will you love her/him, honor her/him, comfort and keep her/him, and forsaking all others keep only unto her/him so long as you both shall live?
RESPONSE: I will.
THE GIVING AWAY
There are many ways of indicating support for a marriage, and you may wish for someone to say something, for parents to indicate support, or you may desire for the Bride/Groom/Partner to be ‘given away’.
I tend to introduce this part of the Ceremony, to say that you have chosen to include it, and that you are pleased to have … to represent all your family and friends in supporting you marriage. Of course, you may wish to involve all your parents, or your children.
MARRIAGE CELEBRANT: Who gives/brings … to be married to …?
Or
Do you on behalf of your family and friends, support …’s marriage to …?
RESPONSE: e.g. I do/We do/My wife and I do.
I thank that person and ask them if they would care to join the guests.
POEM, READING, SONG, ETC.
I suggest that if you are interested in have a reading in any part of your Ceremony, that you select the piece, and ask a friend to read. That makes it more personal for both of you. I will of course read if you would like that.
THE VOWS
I introduce the Vows mentioning that they are the formal part of the Ceremony, and that you have chosen them. Normally, you might repeat them after me, in small segments.
The vows which the Marriage Act expects people to say must begin with the following:
“I call upon these persons here present to witness that I … take you … to be my lawful wedded wife/husband/spouse.”
[This change allows marrying couples to make a personal choice about the terms to be used in their marriage vows that best reflect their relationship. The term ‘husband’ can refer to a male marriage partner, and ‘wife’ to a female marriage partner, regardless of the sex or gender of the person saying the vows. The term ‘spouse’ can refer to a male, female, intersex, non-binary gender or transgender person. A-G Dept]
You may wish to add our own words after this – for example:
“I call upon these persons here present to witness that I … take you … to be my lawful wedded wife/husband/spouse, to have and to hold, from this day, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death us do part, and this is my promise to you.”
Or, some other ideas from which you may wish to work:
(a): I, …, take you, …, as my wife/husband/spouse. I pledge to share my life openly with you, and to speak the truth to you in love. I promise to honour and tenderly care for you, and to cherish and encourage your own fulfilment as an individual for the rest of my life.
(b): … I want to be with you always just as you are. I choose you above all others to share my life with me in marriage. I love you for yourself, and I want you to become all that you can be. I promise to honour this pledge as long as I live.
THE EXCHANGE OF RINGS OR OTHER SYMBOL
I normally say something like: As a symbol of this marriage, … and … wish to exchange rings. OR As a symbol of this marriage, … wishes to present … with a ring.
I normally ask an Attendant to collect the rings from the table and present them, in order, to you and you two will, in turn, be asked to place the ring on the other’s finger.
“With this ring, a token and pledge of my love, I thee wed.”
Or, some other ideas from which you may wish to work:
(a): With this ring I thee wed.
(b): With this ring I marry you.
(c): … I give you this ring as a symbol of my love.
PRONOUNCEMENT OF MARRIAGE
MARRIAGE CELEBRANT: … and …, as you have consented together in lawful marriage in my presence, and in the presence of your witnesses, and by the giving and receiving of these rings, I now declare you to be husband and wife OR a married couple.
I then suggest that you may wish to kiss each other!
MARRIAGE CELEBRANT: Ladies and gentlemen. It is my duty, and very great pleasure to inform you that … and … have freely agreed to be joined in marriage, and you have heard me pronounce them officially married. We are now going to sign the three Marriage Certificates. Once we have completed the signing I shall present … and … to you as a married couple.
SIGNING
Five of us need to sign three certificates, so this takes at least five minutes. During that time the photographers will no doubt be busy. You may also have arranged for music to be played at this stage.
PRESENTATION
After the signing I present you to your guests, with something like:
Ladies and gentlemen, we have now completed the formal part of today’s celebrations, and I hope that you enjoy the remainder of your time with … and … and that you send them off on their married life with a great deal of support. Could I advise you that is preferable that you do not throw confetti or rice within the grounds/building, but please feel free to throw flowers (or money) as symbols of your goodwill. I now give to you all, your new friends, and for some of you now, your new relatives, … and … as a married couple. Congratulations.
BEFORE I LEAVE
This Ceremony normally takes about 20 minutes and afterwards I check the Certificates (for posting to the Registry Office within the next day or two), and then say goodbye to you.